Stay at Kenneth's House


Friends, Quakers, chance readers, lend me your pixels... After some fascinating games of phone tag, complicated by mountains and Google not knowing where the AT is, I found our Karrie in a landscape and garden centre near Wingdale, New York. Having been warned by Zackerskates of the horrors and shame of newbies hiking along with She Who Is Diamond, the following is merely an account of Mme. Kressler returning, albeit briefly, to civilization to restock, shower, listen to music, and trade Youtube videos. The wonders of Western progress never cease! To point by point describe our adventures around suburban Connecticut will no doubt bore even the most help-me-I'm-bored-at-work reader, and therefore, I will merely list the highlights.

  • German restaurant with large, large beers.

  • Haircuts. I sadly do not have a picture of Karrie's new stylin' style, but I assure you, it is as badass as Karrie, herself. Imagine!

  • Funny paintball masks! Similarly badass.

  • Stumbling around my house's environs (wetlands) at night, with headlamps. Walking railroad tracks.

  • Memorizing the Natalie Portman rap. Karrie has a mission to be able to recite the entire thing. Prepare yourselves! It is part of her new crusade against being called "cute". Learn her new ways, heathens, or pay.

  • Saying "betch" often and ad nauseum.

Our brief interlude was ended by my attempt, for an hour, to hike with her. This ended in sweat, flies, and shame! She is now on her way southwards, no doubt with many more stories to find and trade. Looking for something, or leaving something else, Karrie approaches. All bow before her might!


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